There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
