I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Randomize
