Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
