am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
