Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
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