New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
smell my finger.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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