I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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