the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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