i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
and eventually we just all took our pants off
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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