why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
