you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
