Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
