READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
