We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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