I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
the liver wants what the liver wants
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Randomize
