She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
