Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Randomize
