This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
