Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
