She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
