distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
