9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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