i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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