How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
So here I am, sexting at work.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
