He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
she looked like the before picture.
do herpes really smell.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
