You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
