Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
