why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
