i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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