Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
