he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
