WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
