Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Come share oat with me in your robe
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
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