we have pet lesbian snakes
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
