I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
