I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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