dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
