True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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