If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I need a beard to bite.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
