On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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