did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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