that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
