I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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