Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
operation harelip BJ is a go
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
