yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
