do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Randomize
