he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
