Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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