That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
