We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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