You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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