his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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