He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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