I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Randomize
